Christmas

Well, Santa came this year. And our living room Christmas Eve was mostly covered by this huge tent that was a lot bigger than the picture on the box depicted. With a 6 foot tunnel. And it's kind of half a pain to set up. Neither of these things did Mike and I really think about. Nor did we read the size clearly stated on the box. The overload on caffeine this week has killed a lot of brain cells.

So we've got this over sized child's play tent in the corner of his room, which kicked the rocking chair out, which ruined the karma of the living room, which ultimately means Mitchell bedtime routine gets jumbled because there isn't a chair to rock him, or read to him in, but... there is a tent, so it's not all bad.

He was happiest with the Zhu Zhu pet, you know, the hottest toy of the season. Mike bought two because....I'm still not really sure. But anyway, we sold one to Emma for Madee, and after considering all other options gave it to Mitch. er, from Santa. I'm a little annoyed that over all these great toys I've been playing with all week, he's most happy chasing around a fake rat and saving it from the couch of doom where all things are lost because the cushions don't come off. We still very much like it though, and thanks to my mad skills, it has yet to get a stain. (the couch, we'll always like Mitch and he gets plenty of stains)

Mom and I made a quiet book that he's pretty much obsessive over. But quiet book moments are reserved for church and just before I pull my hair out. I don't want the novelty to wear off you know. And sitting quietly in church makes me feel like a good mother even if the quiet book is the only thing keeping that happening. But I did make it, so it still counts right?

The most frustrating thing in the world, though, is that Mitch couldn't care less about opening presents. Grrrr.... Christmas would have taken 4 hours, but thankfully Mike does like opening presents, a lot, and we mostly just gave up. Oh. Well. I'm glad he was more interested in the toys inside, but still, you'd think he'd be just a little bit excited. Nope.

This is Mitchell's "first bunny ear" Mike wanted to be sure he was first.

The holiday season, I found, makes Mike a insanely lenient father. "but it's Christmas" was his choice phrase after I found soda in Mitchell's sippy cup. twice. Seriously, don't give the kid soda! what are you thinking?!? Mike was home for 5 days in a row, and took over....everything. I've been kind of a hormonal wreck, ha, as usual, and my husbands pretty much the best thing ever. Anyway, so I couldn't get too mad (just immediately dump it out! holy cow!) about Mitchell and his new found love of pepsi. and diet coke. A few sips aren't going to kill him, after all.

Mike's dad gave Mikey a recorder for Christmas. This means his old one went to me and he's been teaching me, and I'm horrible, and we've been playing duets. Though...One is a half note lower than the other. Which.... probably isn't too fun for the neighbors. Actually my first lesson was around 10:30pm Christmas eve. Sometimes we forget people live....all around us. Once we heard them walking around, we ..... played phase 10 and were substantially more quiet. Anyway, the neighbors, for Christmas, got what sounds like another dog (that would make 3), a drum set, and pogo sticks. though I'm not entirely sure.

Mitch wanted in on some recorder fun. And loves it too. Anything loud is a big hit around here.

Because I Have Nothing Better to Do...

And neither do you.


He He.


On a more serious note. Mitchell is so sick, our car won't start, we have to wash the nursery cups again, Mitchell ruined an ornament, my house is a mess, I can't cook a roast in a crock pot, we're almost out of toilet paper, Mike got the wrong kind of toothpaste, and there isn't any ice cream anywhere. Or cottage chesse (I ate the whole container in less than 12 hours....pathetic. For some reason cottage cheese tastes just as good as ice cream. to me. right now.)


But I did make brownies.


I decided to send Christmas cards this year. And then decided I didn't want to be in the picture. But that means trying to get Mitch to look at the camera and smile simultaneously, which is tricky. Especially since my camera takes 10 years to take a picture if the flash is not on. Lame. Lame lame lame!!


Take one.



Take two.

Take three.


Take four.

Take fifty-five.



Okay, so they're all cute. We couldn't decide.

He's been adorable though, especially as of lately, so I'm not complaining. Though his latest thing, is destroying everything in sight. This is done while screaming (screaming!) "DIE! DIE! DIE!" No, I doubt he's really saying that....nursery's not that bad. and neither are we. But it sounds like it. And it's easy to believe since he's destroying things. (he even does this after I've swept the floor into a nice little pile. He can be so quiet while waiting for his prey)

Oh, and Thanksgiving was good. Mitchell stuck his nose up at everything, as usual. Torture! Surprisingly, and wonderfully so, he ate the left overs the next day. He loved the cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes and dark turkey. And still won't eat mashed potatoes or stuffing. But sweet potatoes are vegetables! So I was thrilled, and bought all of Thanksgiving dinner again. We've tried sweet potato fries (success!) regular potato fries (fail) carrots (fail) marshmellows (fail) brownies (success!) I'm going to make up the giant turkey we bought, and freeze it. Also I started buying baby food and sneaking it in his peanut butter and spaghetti favorites. He doesn't notice...much. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

Annnnyway. If anyone has any clever vegetables that picky children like......

And there. 2 posts in November. Barely.

Thanksgiving...ness.

Well, to start off, I haven't had a space bar for a week. Becaussssse.... Mitch, out of nowhere, reached his little destructive hand out, whilst on my lap looking at the more innocent times of his life, grabbed it, yanked it off, and....laughed.

Techonology has come along way, my brain doesn't care to ride on up with it, so... I couldn't figure out how to put it back on, and I had to drive to best buy to get full use out of our warrenty.

Which, they didn't even check. The guy just laughed at me and put it on within 2 seconds. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I was glad it didn't have to be sent in somewhere, to some genius who only lives in Ireland or something.

Life, is mucho easier with a space bar. It's one of those things you take for granted.


So, my little, darling, menace is usually up to no good. And most, everyday, he'll scream "side! side" (secret code for "outside") while reaching for the front door. Which has to be dead bolted to avoid random runaways.

Usually I comply at least once a day. He's so dang cute outside, the mom in me comes out and I want to capture it for always!

With no success. WHY won't he look at the camera? Stinky pete.

Also, he found the crackers. And learned that if you stomp on them, they turn into a million pieces. Naturally, the camera moments come before the cleaning part. (And I had just mopped it)

For family night, we made thankful turkeys. And they turned out lovely. Here's what we're thankful for!:

Mitchell:
-Dogs
-Outside
-Mom
-Dad
-Binky
-My Teddy Bear
-Church Nursery (Toy and food part only)
-Kisses.

Me:
-Mikey Poo
-Mitchell
-The Gospel
(And then.... Uh....crap.... So Mike suggested the in-laws, ha, I do love them. )
-My In-laws
(Then I guess I like my family)
-My family
-Naptime
-The Temple
-Date Night

Mike:
-Osu Football
-The Wife
-The Kid
-Job
(uhhhh)
-Mitchell's Binky (yeah, Mike, stop trying to wing him, then I'll believe you)

So I taped Mitchells and my own to the back door, and just coincidentally put mine above Mitchells.

Mike states that he rules the house. And put his above us all.

So then, of course, I had to do something, and placed his at the bottom of the totem pole.

We've been playing mind games with each other ever since.

This is what they look like now....

So, as you can see, my turkey kicked Mikes in the shins, told him to stop trying to take over, and he better behave or else he's going in the garbage.

I win. And he hasn't dared to move it.

Halloween, and things.

I hate haunted houses. I'm just going to throw that out there. But sometimes I think they're not "that bad" and I volunteer myselt (and my fearless husband, naturally) to court children (not my 16 month old, no, I'm not that irresponsible) around so they can involuntarily "wet their pants" Those are not my words, those are Madeline's. Also, during this time of voluntary action, I had no idea haunted houses cost 20 dollars a person. (Holy Cow!!! Who would pay that?! Besides me... obviously...)


So here we are driving to the haunted forrest. We decided on that one, because.... all the other's recommended the children be over the age of 12. And if 12 year olds can't come, then I'm not stepping anywhere near it.



Since the two crazies had to leave my apartment at 5:30, knowing fully that this 'amusement' doesn't even open till 7:30, (after going to the haunted house, realizing that there are no lines, asking the future terrorizers if they wanted a coke- that was only Mike though,) we stopped by Arbys. I used to work there, right after high school, and ran into my old boss. She surprisingly recognized me, I showed her a picture of Mitch, tried to stop Mike from making embarrasing comments (fail.) (okay, fine, they weren't that bad) and it was sort of awkward, but whatev. Life moves on.



We barely survived the haunted forrest. The first couple minutes were utter darkness, and Mike thought it'd be funny to let Madee and I suffer by ourselves, screaming for his help. After threatening him with everything I could think of (okay, and grabbing the back of his shirt so he couldn't possibly loose both of us), he seemed to comply. And after the chainsaws, knives, fire torches and sprinting the entire time, we were tired and went home.


Except we hired Emma to babysit, and the two of them were to spend the night. And I promised (again, why do I do this?) that we would do something fun, and not go to bed immediatly. We got caramel, apples, m&m's, etc at the store, came home and half asleep made caramel apples. Except Mike, who ditched us and fell asleep unintentionally (yeah right!) on the couch. And then we crashed. Mitch probably wore Emma out to the point of sheer exhaustion, so we should have gone the movie route, but no.... above and beyond! Even if it costs you your insanity.


Mike and I, lately, are rather tradition crazy, and Mike decided this was the start of pumpkin carving. I prefer paint, because........ it's not messy, and....that's all I usually care about.




But I complied.






We tried to keep Mitch awake and entertained, but since that is really too ambitious, I just gave him a sucker. And Mike carved his pumpkin for him.

We tried imagine what Mitch would want in a pumpkin.


His binky? (He's never gonna give that up) We flew with that idea.





Mike informed me, after his was done, that he's made the same face on his pumpkin since he was 5. Traditions die hard. And all that pumpkin made us hungry. And it was family night after all, treats are required.This year, I was determined to make Mitchell Mario, last year he was too little to trick or treat with, and next year he'll be talking, maybe, and can state his opinions, so I figured this was the only year I could ...uh.. control? (dang, that just sounds bad, but it's too late to care.) So for, literally, the past 3 months I've been searching for a Mario hat and overalls. I found a hat on Amazon, that I was fully planning on adding the "M" on by my mad skills, but only after I found the overalls. And the overalls?...... no dice. I didn't want to spend 26 bucks at target, and all the other ones everywhere had stuff all over them, trying to make them cuter, I suppose.

So my last straw was Babies R Us, and they had plenty of overalls that would not ever work for my incredably, and surprisingly, high standards. So we went for a lion costume 60% off, 5 bucks total. Sweet.


Except when we got home, and let him try it on, it's a little too small. And they didn't have a 2T. It fits alright in the arms, the legs are a tad short but not too noticible.


But the child's 99.9 percentile head circumference is the downfall. The hood thing doesn't really fit. I think the lion's head is supposed to be down on his forehead, not around his head like a headband.



It's one night, okay, it'll be fine.



Also, I decided to be crafty and make him a trick or treating bag. My mom taught me the button hole stitch which has been most helpful. Plus I've been in this crazy psychotic craft mood and thats all I do and think about. But I'm finishing projects, which is a milestone for me. hahah.


So Halloween night, we went up to my grandma's for chili and doughnuts, then went back home and let Mitch trick or treat.


For some reason, everyone thought he was a girl. "She's soooooooo cute! Look at her smile! Hello precious!!! What's her name?"......"Mitchell." (if we answered "Mitch" they still ran with the girl idea, believe it or not) "But it's a girl" "No, he's a boy." It's not like we dressed him up as a lioness. It's a male lion even. Do little girls dress up as male lions? Whatever.


We came home with a sugar high crazy child, and he didn't go to bed forever. But once he did, Mike and I pulled out the monopoly board, took our trick or treak sign now, turned the lights off, ate most of the candy, and I beat him once again.


I'd say it was a successful halloween.

Vacuums and .... that's...it...

Once upon a time, Mike and I got married. It was quite the eventful day, to say the least.

Anyway, it took me nearly a month to convince Mike I needed a vacuum, any vacuum- since I was naive at the time and thought all vacuums worked (silly me).

Today, I was vacuuming with that dust collector 50-dollar-special dirt devil ("Dust you can SEE"), and it decided to spout out... uh... stuff. Usually, and correct me if I'm wrong, vacuums pick up stuff, not spit it out. And this is the second time this week. The bag was new, the belt was fine, I decided it was time for Mr. Dirt Collector to be on it's way to the garbage (or craigslist- Mike could very well live by "once a salesman, always a salesman" and before our crap goes to the garbage, it is always tested on craigslist. Some arguments are just not worth fighting. ( you know, the argument that "if it doesn't work, dear, why would we sell it?") I suppose $5 would buy a happy meal, after all.)

SO! La-la-la! Mike came home to me nearly in tears over a horrible vacuum, and I pulled out my puppy-dog eyes and said in my sweetest voice, "honey, can we buy a vacuum?" he didn't even flinch. (which is saying something, because lately certain fabric stores have been calling to me.... I have more "christmas projects" (code name for "fancy excuses to buy things") than carter has pills.)

After the vacuum store by our house and home depot's pathetic selection. We got hungry, and got lucky with a nice waiter who gave us 4 loafs of bread. He got a nice tip. And Mitchell drank out of a straw for the first time, and ate some fries. Which was nice, because the last 3 times I've even offered him fries he's stuck his nose up at me. (not that fries should be forced by parental figures, but this child of mine turned his nose up at french cream puffs for crying out loud. Victories are celebrated when he eats 3 kernels of corn. I don't understand why he's so picky.)

Then we wandered over to Sears, who had a much better selection. I found I know absolutely nothing about decent vacuums, other than Electrolux's must be nice since my mom has had hers since I was 5.

We talked to a lady who has been selling vacuum's for 30 years. She let us vacuum all their rugs, and we found a nice Hoover for a decent price, and I tried my hardest not to shed pure tears of joy.

"Ooooohhh....Aaaahhh"

We got home and put it together. I vacuumed for a good hour. My new vacuum has these nice lights. One is green and one is red. The red light turns on when the floor is dirty, and green is for clean. I was not surprised at all that it took almost an hour for my living room to earn the green light I so desperately seeked. (The picture, unfortuantly, is of the red light, obviously) The carpet feels soft and nice, and like...carpet, a nice upgrade to the dirty sand paper I've been walking on for the past 3 months. Seriously, you can see the difference. It is wonderful. Perhaps the best perk of all, though, is that Mitchell isn't scared of it! Yay! It's much quieter than the last. And it's blue. Blue is a lot less demonic than red. Oh and it comes with that nice angle thing so I also finally edged my carpet. And it looks like I did edge my carpet. And a brush too, so I vacuumed the couch. Heck, I even vacuumed Mike.

Anyway, I feel a little strange that this is the most exciting thing that has happened in the last 3 weeks, but whatever.

Mitchell is growing like a weed, has a full set of teeth, and could live off ice and peanut butter sans jelly sandwiches. But that's only because I forgot to pick up some jelly. Sometimes I worry about the level of variety, or lack of, but then I hear him scream, and suddenly, I realize he is still very much alive, and that is a miracle, since he still has no sense of the edge, and has walked off (without even flinching) so many things this week (bed, couch, steps). When I say walk, please realize he never runs, only sprints. He is the miracle of life.

Also, I've successfully taught him to blow kisses. He he he. So he kisses everything from the mouse in his strawberry book, to his reflection in the mirror, to my elbow. It's quite nice, actually. Much better than the slapping-mom-in-the-face stage, or the trying-to-feel-mom's-eyeball stage.

And, nursery's successfully taught him to give dirty looks, shake his head "no", and bite. Though, he's only bit me a handful of times, thankfully.

He likes to scream "Dada!!!" at the top of his lungs while reaching for Mike's photo. Lucky for you, I caught a picture of that.

Also, we (Mike and I.... AHHHHH) buzzed his hair. heh. It looks....nice. Also, I buzzed Mikes. And tried not to laugh at it afterwords.

Haha. He's still so cute though, don't you think?