My life. My lame, lame life

Lets begin with a follow up from the dentist.

No cavities for Mike. No cavities for me. Why are my teeth hurting you ask? OH! I have a wisdom tooth coming in, wrapped around a few hundred nerves, good chance of losing all feeling of my bottom lip for the rest of my life. Fantastic. I'd rather have a cavity.

So because the dentist we went to seemed a little nervous (at least to me) I am having surgery in Utah, and we are leaving for Ohio Monday, so now Mitch and I will go to Utah for a week, and Mike will catch up Sundayish, to fly to Ohio.

I'm occasionally an idiot, and booked my plane ticket in the name of "Meagan Taylor" which, don't get me wrong, that is officially my name, I just don't have a government issued ID with that name. That's right folks, no Idaho drivers license.

Last year, about this time, I went to the DMV to get an Idaho license. And found out you have to take a test. And I failed. I got like 50 percent or something. Now, don't laugh! If you only saw these questions. "What do you do if an animal is crossing the road in front of you? A. The farmer must pay for any damage done to you and your car. B. Slow down and avoid hitting the animals. C. If you hit the animal, you are liable to the farmer for the animal" K....B??? NO! Wrong! C. go figure. One more reason I hate Idaho.

So earlier this week, I realize I probably should get my license before Ohio, which means before Utah, which means by today!!! Mike works constantly, and could only take me early Friday. So, I study for 2 days. STUDY!!! You don't understand, I studied!! Who does that? I read the entire manuel, took practice tests- everything!!!

Today I get up really early, and put makeup on (shocker, I know) I even put eye liner on. Did my hair. Wore a black shirt. Wore matching shoes. Wore earrings.

And we get to the DMV and apparently you have the most ridiculous proof you really live in Idaho.
"Here's a bill."
"Oh honey, it has to be a utility bill."
"All ours are electronic."
"Well.... then a lease argreement."
"Our lease is up. We've lived here for well over a year."
"You should have got your license after 30 days."
"Tried! I failed the stupid test. Would you like me to drive you over to our apartment? I'll show you the bed, the vacuum, the laundry that needs to be folded.... "
Pause
"W2 Form?"
"No."

So we drive to our apartment to get a note from the manager that we do indeed live here. She is, of course, not there. So we drive to the copy shop, because our printer is out of ink, to print off our e-bill. It doesn't have my name on the bill, so Mike photoshops it in. Thanks honey.

Surprisingly the lady accepts this, and I go to take the test. I hate testing. I was so nervous I was shaking. Shaking! I could only miss 6 questions. There was 40. The first 20 I missed 5. And they were the stupid questions I answered too quick, or second guessed. So I started taking things more slowly, breathing a little calmer, trying to ignore the smart guy next to me answering questions too fast for any normal human, ignoring my husbands rants about his 95, no wait, 98 percent- the first time.... This is when my brain splits into 2 different people, one good, one evil, unfortunatly during testing, it's hard to tell which is which.

Question 37. Wrong. Crap. Now I have to get the last 3 questions right, and I pass. Okay. I can do this.
Question 38. Correct!
Question 39. Correct!
Question 40:
What does this sign mean?

Good Meagan "Yield! Yield! I win! I pass!!!"
Evil Meagan "Now, wait, read through all of the answers"
Good Meagan "Oh....Slow Moving Vehicle?? Crap... What does that sign look like?"
Evil Meagan "It looks the same I think. If it was a yield sign it would say yield right??"
Good Meagan "Yeah, Yield signs say 'yield' yeah, okay. Slow Moving Vehicle"

WRONG!

Evil Meagan "hahahahahhaha"

My life! I'm fortunate enough to have a husband that brings up old, bitter, heart-wrenching memories. We talked about me starting drivers ed a year late, and failing the written test 3 times, and then failing the driving range, and failing the actual driving test. And my mother refusing to let me practice driving, and screaming for her life every time I got in the car. And me praying for my life every time behind the wheel. And shaking all the way down the highland highway the first time Paul let me drive by myself to Kohlers (with one of those fake babies. I just set him on his seat, without a buckle, and he fell off and was screaming..... and I was too nervous to take one hand off the wheel and solve the problem, so I had this screaming baby for a good 20 mins....I think I failed that test too. Crap. I stink at motherhood too) They should probably just revoke my license. Mike didn't even let me drive home.

And to top it off, while writing this sad, sad, post, I decided to bake some cookies just now, and I went to put them in the oven, and two little cookie dough balls fell off onto the oven floor. Sob, sob, sob. And I couldn't get one out. So I turned the oven off, and the door is open, and I am watching the thing make a mess out of my oven.

On a positive note, here are some pictures of Mitch. That cheers anybody up.

He's in the 99th percentile for height, 96th for head circumference, and 46th for weight. The doctor said if we average our heights together, that's a good indicator. But that would be like 5'7.5 I somehow don't think that's likely.

Mike got a hair cut today. Apparently he looks like a stunk. We'll have a story and pictures of that very related story later.

I must say, yesterday was a better day. The Office was on- Pam came back!!! Mitch slept 6 hours in a row. I had high hopes for an Idaho license. Oh well....I guess its only 10 am the day s bound to get better.