The best one and most responsible one on that list is disneyland, obviously.
So I set some goals, saved, and now will forever pat myself on the back, because really, who saw that coming? Also bonus: every time the laundry sits folded on the floor for days, I can say, "this procrastination is what got us to disneyland." or "but I can't watch TV when I put the clothes away" or "once you pick up your socks, I will finish what I started"
It's obviously super fun to be married to me.
So we meticulously planned the best times to go, argued about hotels (traveling for work 500 times a month, has made my husband a hotel snob. "but I want more hotel points", "I don't want to take a shuttle." "because then we'll have to take the stroller down and up and down and up and hold the baby" "who cares about free breakfast when Mitchell's not going to eat it anyway?" (okay, valid) "but meagan, they have *signature bedding*. After walking around for *miles* every day, you're going to want to sleep well" never mind that our actual mattress (you know, the one we sleep in every night) was only comfortable for about the first 3 weeks of marriage. And we are on year I don't even know.) Anyway, the whole thing got planned and then we told the kids who said, pretty literally, "meh" and "is my little pony going to be there?"
No, my little pony is *not* going to be there. Can you pretend you love cinderella again for a few days and humor me?
Once we got a little closer to the time of departure, the kids got really excited. Which was really great, because there were a few weeks where I wasn't sure they were real children. Mitchell talked to all his friends and made a pretty extensive to-do list, and Ali insisted on "googling the youtube rides at disneyland" and Mitchell was adamant about not watching anything on youtube, and "ruining all the rides" They were most excited about jedi training (Mitchell) and the tower of terror (Ali).
So we load the car up with one of those huge tupperware/storage things full of snacks and instant oatmeal packets, 20 new little dover activity books, and a Jim Gaffigan audio book. 2am rolls around and we grab the kids and drive all the way to vegas with snoring children. Which was fantastic because then the drive was only 4 hours of "are we there yet?" and "does that hotel have a broken elevator?" and "what about that hotel?" and "I have to go to the bathroom like 83!" and "No Ali, we're doing JEDI TRAINING FIRST" and "PARENTS! Can you sing quieter?" and "OH MY GOSH. WHY ARE OUR PARENTS LISTENING TO ALL THE KID SONGS" um, hello. is there any other reason disney pandora stations exist? (also, yeah, our kids call us "parents" if they need us or talk about us collectively. I don't know how or why this started.)
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| Mitchell on Mitchell Street |
Finally, disney. I may have started crying when we saw the real hotel with the broken elevator. We tried to nap at the hotel. Fail. Mike tries to take the kids down to the pool so the baby and I can sleep. Fail. So we gave up and took the kids to downtown disney.
The kids were disappointed there were no rides at downtown disney. And then they wanted to buy all the things. We told them they could pick one thing on the last day to take home as a souvenir. Except, no Mitchell, not that $500 star wars lego set.
The first ride of the day was something I can't remember the name of. Gold rocket ships over on "parasite pier". "paraDISE pier" "I just think it sounds better when you say 'parasite pier'" but do you really? how do you know the word parasite and not paradise? This is Mitchell, by the way. Ali's rubbing off on him- reading the first half of the word, and making up the rest. "Sport blood drinks" were a real thing for the longest time. "Ali it says sport BLAST drink! Why is blood the first BL word that comes to your mind?!" Also anything that started with AP, she read as "applejack" NOT EVERYTHING IS MY LITTLE PONY. MAKE IT STOP. "no honey, that says 'call for an appraisal, not call for applejack" I feel like kindergarten will be good for her.
And then we took advantage of the rider switch genius that is disneyland, and I took mitchell on the big roller coaster, and then he could immediately go with dad. Super fun. He was scared out of his mind. Too cool to admit it though. "I'm not scared. I just close my eyes and look down the whole time"
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| And he did look down the whole time. |
And eventually we make it over to the tower of terror. Ali and Mitchell happily go on with mike, and Ali comes out shaking. "How did it go?" "I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN" "But best friends go on the tower of terror together" "Best friends go on the tower of terror, ALONE" "But you said you'd go with me?" "But I don't want to die"
And from that point on, for the rest of the trip, every ride we didn't take Audrey one, she'd ask me "does this ride have a broken elevator" "No, honey" and then, just to make sure, she'd ask the ride administrators, "does this ride have a broken elevator?!" and they'd try to say no while laughing, which didn't make Ali feel more confident until the ride started moving forward and not up.
Audrey happens to be the best baby to travel with. And also delivers the best sales pitch to nurse out of any other baby ever. She throws herself to my elbow, opens her mouth and cries like she's literally starving. Girlfriend, this has got to stop. I try not to give in, I do. And then I give up: on the ferris wheel, on haunted mansion, on it's a small world, on pirates, on buzzlightyear, on the caterpillar ride, on pretty much every. single. ride. she can go on.
Audrey and I found a quiet bench and a churro while we were waiting for Mike + big kids, and the mad hatter was walking by, sat down and took a selfie with her. Easily a top 5 favorite moment. And she loved the mad hatter, Captain Hook, and Mickey Mouse.
While eating dinner, we checked the Disney app and saw the splash mountain ride had a 5 min wait. This is probably because it's late, and the park is closing in an hour or so, and who rides splash mountain when it's cold? WE DO.
I told Mike you didn't get wet. I couldn't really remember. Um, you do get wet. It was cold.
I rode it first with Mitchell and Ali and the lyrics get increasingly terrifying and Ali apparently listens intently to songs, so that part where they're singing "and Brer Rabbit falls to a sure death" Ali turned around and said "WHAT?! WE'RE GOING TO DIE?!"
What? no! No one dies on this ride.
And once we arrived safely to the bottom, she realized I was telling the truth. No death. And we rode pooh bear and then went back and rode splash mountain over and over and over and over again until they kicked us out because the park was closing. Like 6 times in a row.
We were... wet.
One day of disney, and then we planned a beach day, so as to fuel up and rest to prepare for another 2 days of disney. And on the beach day, we decided to take the kids on a boat in the middle of the ocean and see some whales in the wild.
It was amazing. Hundreds of dolphins, 1 humpback whale, and 3 grey whales. The humpback whale was maybe 4 feet away from our boat. It was incredible. The only downside is that Ali happens to be terrifying to be responsible for on a boat. I thought she was going to fall in 4098 times.
I'd do this again in a heartbeat. It was spectacular, and that's an understatement. I'm currently trying to talk Mike into kayaking with an orca pod off the coast of Washington. He's keeps telling me how uncomfortable kayaking all day long would be and I keep reminding him that I've been in a kayak one time at girls camp and I have no bad/uncomfortable memories. I think he's worried we'll be eaten alive. We'd be fine. Judging on Ali's lack of awareness, she might not be, but we would have to leave the kids at home anyway. Goodness.
And then we ate dinner on the pier which was also fun.
The next morning we had breakfast with Minnie, the Fairy Godmother, Chip sans Dale, Captain Hook, Pinocchio, and Eeyore. Audrey did not understand what was going on and just was super confused the whole time. Character breakfast for the win, though. Any excuse to sit down and eat Mickey waffles until you're full is a good one. The characters that say things like, "I did NOT turn CINDERELLA into a horse. You need to watch my movie again" is just a bonus.
We made our way over to the Star Wars land, where they've changed Space Mountain to be Star Wars themed, and meh. I like the real one. Bring it back. And then wandered over to some big building with marvel and Star Wars people in it. Marvel- we don't care. Star Wars? Kylo Ren? Chewbacca? YES.
Mitchell and Ali were terrified of kylo ren, it was hysterically funny. Mitchell then demanded a light saber so he could be protected, and also go back to see him. again. Well, thanks to Grandpa Boyd and his $20 each to Mitchell and Ali, they decided to spend, what felt like a million dollars to them, on custom light sabers. Both of them. Even though Ali doesn't care ("I do care! Darth Vader is so handsome!" MAKE IT STOP)
Custom light sabers. Check. A revisit to Kylo Ren. Check. "Glad to see you support the first order. Don't let Kylo Ren see those, or he might think you're part of the resistance"
"AH. I GOT BLUE. MOM."
So Kylo Ren, 10 mins later, still terrified children, IDK what we're doing here. Pictures? Yeah. These still make me laugh.
The last night, we finally managed to sign up for Jedi Training, thank goodness. We also used our magic morning pass and spent the extra bonus hour in line for Peter Pan. I loved that ride.
Jedi Training was pretty great for Mitchell and Ali. Ali got to defeat Darth Vader, her handsome
On the last day, we let the kids pick their favorite ride so we could do it one last time. Mitchell wanted to ride the tower of terror, so we waltzed over to get fast passes. I'd been begging Ali to go with me since she went on it the first time and she kept refusing, and I'd keep teasing her that best friends ALWAYS go on the tower of terror together- and she didn't budge. And Mike kept saying "no, really, she was so scared." but getting fast passes- I didn't want her to change her mind and not be able to go, so when I put her ticket in "and one for Ali" she was screaming "NO NO NO NO" and then as soon as the fast pass popped out she sighed a great sigh and said "okay fine" wait, what? You'll go on it with me!? "I guess one more time, mom. just ONE MORE"
So, Mike went with Mitchell and then I took Ali. Who started shaking the minute we entered the hotel. And a family was behind us, a girl about the same age, asking her parents if it was scary "it's a little scary, but it's not real" they said. Ali turned around "It IS SO SCARY. IT IS THE SCARIEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD" and they said, "um, but not too scary because you're going on it again right?" "Because I'm best friends with my mom!" Nothing about this makes me out to be a good parent.
She's shaking the closer we get to the ride, "Ali, are you okay? It's just pretend, and everything is going to be okay, but if you're too scared, we can go find dad"
"Mom, can you hold my hand"
"I'm holding it right now"
"But can you just not let go"
"Yeah of course I'll hold your hand! Didn't dad hold your hand?"
"No! Mitchell told him he was a chicken and wouldn't hold his hands up in the air, so dad MADE ME let go of his hands so he could beat Mitchell"
😂😂 of course this happened. I assured her that I would never let go, and we entered the broken elevator. Had the back row seats. She held my hand so tight and I'm 78% sure she wet her pants.
We got off the ride and she said, "That is my favorite ride!"
"What? Do you want to ride it again?"
"Oh no. We only ride the favorite ride one time. That's it. We don't need to ride it again because we already know it's the favorite"
Okay, okay. I promise you won't ever have to ride that again.
Real elevators in real life are still terrifying to her.
Until next time Disney 😘
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