My life, and brain, with 2 kids

So I had a baby. it's just something that has to happen after being pregnant for 9 months. and actually I had given up all hope of delivering her naturally, and scheduled a c-section, much to my despair, and witnesses can attest to my freaking out days before. thinking about being cut open and AWAKE scares the crap out of me.





but the day before, she decided not to move. at all. for like 12 hours. so after I bought a candy bar on sunday, on conference sunday no less, and she still didn't move, I freaked out and started panicking and made mike drive me to the hospital. being extremely grateful of leaving mitchell at my mothers that night (otherwise the next morning we would have dropped him off at 5 am. ha.) and I was so sure they were just going to check her heartbeat and send me on my merry way, and I'd just come back 9 hours later, and everyone would think I was (am) crazy.

but I was in active labor. ha. awesome. I was hoping it would remain painless forever. but these things never happen.


and when the nurse asked if I wanted to labor or have a c-section, I seriously debated just getting another c-section. but then I remembered my intense and irrational fear of... everything relating to birth.

I started asking mike why on earth we thought it would be good to add more children to our family. mitchell certainly keeps us occupied. but he laughed at me.



and then the anesthesiologist came after he heard me screaming for him from the other side of the planet, and it took forever and a day for it to actually start working. And mike was clawed almost to death, because pain is something I do not cope with well. at all. not to mention I was all totally mentally prepared for a c-section. but whatever.

and then I just prayed really hard she wouldn't get stuck.


and she surprisingly had a small head. normal range. no more 99th percentile. so everything worked out wonderfully.


so literally hours before the slicing was to begin, Allison Kristi was born.



And I was kind of in shock that everything happened. I think I just stared at her for a good 20 mins.

The cord was wrapped around her neck three times, and she had a bunch of mucus in her throat, but meh. she's healthy and adorable and I didn't have to stay 72 hours in the hospital learning how to walk again. actually the whole thing was kind of fun. because of drugs.






Mitchell still thinks she's an annoying barrier between him and his mother. or father. or grandmother. and that's been lots of fun. and lots of mickey mouse (unfortunately pooh bear is over) and it's mickey mouse clubhouse. and they sing lots of songs that are now always stuck in my head, that I find myself singing to Ali. fun.

And also, today I found out that my pediatrician is not really a pediatrician, and does not "do" pediatrics. no. why I had no idea I'll never know. seriously who does that? he's a family doctor, or whatever, and has no problem giving mitchell shots and well-visit checks, but no, no one tells me anything until nursing decides to be a pain, and Ali apparently needs thrush medicine. but she doesn't. because the lame obgyn doctor on call, that I called last night in excruciating pain is just making up diagnosis' because it's fun to mess with me and my head.

So I call an actual pediatrician, who you know, has policies that prevent them from just handing out antibiotics to any persons that call, so I have to bring her in. lame. lame lame lame.

I feel like the biggest moron in the world.

my "new" pediatrician and I had our first conversation like this.

"hi, my name's doctor kevinbaconface, how old is allison?"

"10 days"

"...where did you deliver?"

"across the street"

"....so....what brings you here today?"

"my pediatrician.....doesn't....'do'...pediatrics"

oh. my. let me just pull out my shirt that says biggest moron ever.

and I texted my husband this whole story and all he said back was "wow" yeah....that pretty much explains it.

And then, being the best mother in the world, decide to make pudding with mitchell. and he, of course, wants to be on the counter. So I put him on the counter, crouch down to get a bowl, literally inches away from him, and he falls on top of me. he starts screaming. I'm thinking I should be screaming, since he weighs 5 tons and I broke his fall and he didn't hit anything on the way down, but then he shows me his thumb.....

what is that? a piece of cabinet jammed in your thumb? yes! of course! because that makes perfect sense! so let me just call my mother in a sheer panic, and she tells me to call the pediatrician (you know, the one I met today) and come in. I was already loading up Ali in her carseat, and trying to get an hysterical Mitchell to put on his shoes, so why I called, I don't really know. moral support probably.

but I drove to the instacare place and was thankful I did, because as soon as the doctor cleaned the wound he found a blister. oh yeah, the stove was probably hot........ I am so lucky my children are alive. seriously what is WRONG WITH ME!!?!

So, I'm counting my blessings I didn't show up back at the pediatricians on the same day, thinking my child's thumb of champions broke and embedded a piece of cabinet. "oh it's just a blister? you mean I could have just stuck it under cold water and treated it myself?"

"what has he had for pain?"

"pain? Oh, um, well nothing. this literally happened 2 mins ago. he fell, we screamed, we were in the car within seconds. me coherently thinking was just not happening."

"we can give him motrin."

awesome. awesome possums blossoms smossoms.

2 kids is going to be great.